I had written something else on Tuesday, but I think this is more important.
We haad a group project. Everyone hates group projects. (except those who won't do anything) but I was tasked not only with my own part of the assignment but putting the presentation together. when other groups had obviously done only their part I was lumped with managing all of it and keeping the bsentees up to date. When it cme time to present one of my classmates attacked me for not putting it in the way she wanted and I snapped. I broke. I failed and I fell. I couldn't take another hit with everything else going on and I left. I wanted to quit. walk away from nursing give up completely because I'm so behind. But I had my little cry, didn't present my bit let it fall apart and gave my concern to God.
I had to
I have to.
I forget that he is on my team even when I cannot stand on my own. He reminded me of Psalm 23:4-6. I hate the other students in my class. But God loves me. God leads me. God prepares a table before me. my life in him is forever and everything else is temporary.
but this has made me assess some things about my own life. Like, Who am I? Well. I am whatever anyone else needs me to be. a nurse, a lover, a sister, a parent. But who am I to me? and most importantly, who am I to God.
To me I am nothing. I don't know who I am, what I can do. I thought Nursing was the only thing I was good at and now I doubt that I'm even good at it. But I am God's. that is all I need to be right? John 3:16. God loved [Kal] so much, that he gave his only son, that [if Kal] believes in him, [kal] shall have eternal life. if you replace Kal, with your name, you will know who you are to God. His chosen. his beloved. his forgiven. his child. I want to love my children the way God loves me. the ONLY reason I even know how much God loves me is because I know how much [Fiance'] loves me, and that is overwhelming. If God loves me more than that, how Great his love for me is. <3
So I might have ALOT to learn about team work. But God calls me to be his. so it doesn't matter who I am to you, or my abusers. what matters is who I am to God. and to God I am redeemed.
We haad a group project. Everyone hates group projects. (except those who won't do anything) but I was tasked not only with my own part of the assignment but putting the presentation together. when other groups had obviously done only their part I was lumped with managing all of it and keeping the bsentees up to date. When it cme time to present one of my classmates attacked me for not putting it in the way she wanted and I snapped. I broke. I failed and I fell. I couldn't take another hit with everything else going on and I left. I wanted to quit. walk away from nursing give up completely because I'm so behind. But I had my little cry, didn't present my bit let it fall apart and gave my concern to God.
I had to
I have to.
I forget that he is on my team even when I cannot stand on my own. He reminded me of Psalm 23:4-6. I hate the other students in my class. But God loves me. God leads me. God prepares a table before me. my life in him is forever and everything else is temporary.
but this has made me assess some things about my own life. Like, Who am I? Well. I am whatever anyone else needs me to be. a nurse, a lover, a sister, a parent. But who am I to me? and most importantly, who am I to God.
To me I am nothing. I don't know who I am, what I can do. I thought Nursing was the only thing I was good at and now I doubt that I'm even good at it. But I am God's. that is all I need to be right? John 3:16. God loved [Kal] so much, that he gave his only son, that [if Kal] believes in him, [kal] shall have eternal life. if you replace Kal, with your name, you will know who you are to God. His chosen. his beloved. his forgiven. his child. I want to love my children the way God loves me. the ONLY reason I even know how much God loves me is because I know how much [Fiance'] loves me, and that is overwhelming. If God loves me more than that, how Great his love for me is. <3
So I might have ALOT to learn about team work. But God calls me to be his. so it doesn't matter who I am to you, or my abusers. what matters is who I am to God. and to God I am redeemed.
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